Community is generational respect
The freedom to emotionally express yourself in Italy is exercised as a natural right, not just a government notion. It's something that organically exists not only in social scenarios, but also in professional life. My God is it refreshing, and a contributor to innovation.
There's a small cafe in Sorrento, Italy located along the main “drag,” Corso Italia. I've been going there to grade papers, write newsletters, etc. for two years. The cafe is called Lenzi Tartufi. It's a truffle cafe. There's a staff of about four or so people who manage the seven-day shifts. But there are two employees who stand out to me. Their names are Anna Scarpato and Ermelinda Esposito, or Linda. I consider them dear friends.
There's about a 20-year age gap between the two women, but if you spend five or so minutes observing, it would appear they are sisters. Sisters who have a really good time at work, and work really hard. But they're not sisters, they are loyal friends and colleagues. They don't even own the cafe. Their synergy is the reason I continue to return to the cafe.
There's something wildly sacred about commitment to friendship in Italy. Anna and Linda's story is about pride and community in the form of sisterhood, but at work. When we think of professionalism and company culture, we tend to silo it to major corporations but in the sense of Lenzi Tartufi, it's a small business in competition with a hundred or more small cafes, working to serve the 1.5 million tourists and thousands of local people. IT'S HARD WORK and these women aren't in the business of sitting around and waiting for the customers to come to them. They're innovators gifted with an innate entrepreneurial spirit.
When the cafe opened at the tail-end of the pandemic, they noticed people weren't quick to stop for truffles, only. As natural observers, and out of pride for their work, the women privately collaborated and slowly expanded the menu to champagne cocktails like the refreshing Aperol spritz, and a variety of traditional, Italian small bites.
As time went on, their covert initiative greatly increased sales. The cafe's owner lives in the north of Italy. He's not at the cafe every day. Once he learned what Anna and Erlinda accomplished, they say he eventually came around to the changes and trusted them to continue.
Anna and Linda humbly say they had done all of this because they take pride in their work and second, because they found joy in creating strategy and growth together! I didn't know any of this until I sat down to conduct this interview. After learning this, their reveals about community aligned with the research I am gathering about Italian community.
It's important to note that my initial reasons for interviewing Anna and Linda were solely based on my observations and light-hearted social interactions with the women. I witnessed an abundance of joyful and prideful acts and exchanges that repeated over the course of two summers. I noticed that the menu expanded, but I didn't think twice about it. In fact, I actually assumed Anna and Linda owned the cafe, as a family business.
Anna and Linda are new(ish) friends. In fact, you could say fate connected them during routine doctor visits in the pandemic. Turns out, when the two got to talking in the office that day, Linda had known Anna's father from church. For years, Linda shared a special bond with Anna's father. He was like a grandfather to Linda. Linda's grandfather died before she could get to know him. Linda credits Anna's father for being a special light in her life. When she revealed this, she had tears in her eyes. Through this serendipitous meeting, Anna and Linda began working at Lenzi Tartufi not too long after.
Generational respect
“I think this is our relation. Anna for me is like a gift because of her father. And because I had to grow up early. Anna comes here to help me and at the same time she comes to help me and I come here to help her. Because she has some years ahead of me, she helped me through,” said Linda.
It was revealed that the women genuinely value their roughly 20-year age gap. They don't see it as a threat. They've removed their egos from the generational gap equation. It's also apparent that Linda's appreciation for Anna's father is where this loyalty and willingness stems from. Linda is in her 20's raising two babies and she highly values the wisdom and love that comes from the elder generations.
In the United States, the conversation about generational communication gaps shouldn't be taboo. Generational exchanges and the conversation about generational communication gaps are important for innovation and evolution in business and in general society. In Italy, the elders aren't dismissed, like children they are honored, respected and valued. There is an even respect for both phases of life.
“We cry and smile together,” Linda Esposito.
Circling back to freedom of emotional expression in Italy, Linda who is more comfortable speaking English through the interview, said, “She is like a hand. It's just in the eyes. I say ok. I am not alone. You need to find support. Even if I want to smile, you need someone to smile with you. You naturally want people to feel supported and loved. Hospitality. We cry together and we smile together.” With a soulful look in her eyes and a confident nod, Anna agreed.
As discussed in previous AMC Newsletters, 70% of a company's mistakes are because of “communication challenges.” These challenges are vaguely identified as follows:
Emotional barriers and taboos
Heavy use of jargon
Physical barriers to non-verbal communications
Expectations and prejudices
Cultural/political differences
Information overload, caused by AI/various technology
Employee burnout
Generational communication gaps
These women share their thoughts and feelings with one another and express themselves. This means trust is their foundation. There's permission to be vulnerable. They also understand that through communication, and to earn strong loyal partnership in professional community, they must be able to freely express how they are feeling.
There is also endless data that suggests women live 4-7 years longer than men because of our natural ability to “gather.” What I love about Linda and Anna, and most women that I know; we thrive at both gathering and hunting. Yet, as women, society looks down on our gender for expressing our emotions, or our “hysteria.”
Speak freely, be patient
Among the four employees, everyone shares the same responsibilities, from cleaning, to serving the guests. Anna and Erlinda are “managers” but they foster an inclusive environment. It's about teamwork for them. Their idea of teamwork has everything to do with patience and speaking freely with one another. Linda said, “To be able to speak freely and work through problems, without involving the boss. To be able to speak freely and offer an idea.”
Linda's quote may seem casual, but addresses so many issues that live below the surface. For instance, have you ever worked with someone who only reports their discrepancies to your boss? In other words, this person doesn't have the courage or confidence to address something simple, directly with you? This has always bothered me in industry.
It's imperative to master how to have a difficult discussion, face-to-face. Social media and keyboard confidence, as I call it, are diminishing our ability to resolve petty issues on our own. It's painful for the majority of my American students to address a difficult topic. This is something I discuss with them in class.
On the flip side, “To be able to speak freely and offer an idea,” as Linda says, is equally imperative. Also, being able to understand the time and place to reveal said ideas and knowing you have a “seat at the table” to speak in the first place. Company culture, and everyone living in it, dictates these freedoms.
Light food for thought; what kind of a free communication environment are you or aren't you fostering in your industry? This is not only the responsibility of the leader. This is the responsibility of everyone on the team.
In Linda's final reveal, “She helps teach patience,” she's gratefully referring to Anna. I loved the simplicity of this message. It left me wondering, how does one even teach patience? It must be a sensational observation of one's energy. When you or I feel calm and “seen” or “heard,” I can't help but believe that the virtue of patience is permeating from the other person. That person simply embodies it.
As the AMC Quest for Community Newsletter series slowly wraps up, the final issues will not disappoint. I will reveal the dynamics of Italian community from beloved startup founder, Paolina Consiglieri.
As always, I wish you CommUNITY.
Anna and Linda, thank you for validating what true, loyal goodness looks like in female friendship and professional development. Thank you for welcoming me into your community. Thank you for your love and kindness. Ci sentiamo a presto!
Hear from other members of the AMC Quest for Community series featuring Mario Di Girolamo, Fabiola Fasulo, Cristiana Panicco, and Don Mario Cafiero.
Together, let's start a profound movement for international company cultures. Please stay with me on this summer-long journey. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Our AMC 3 C's Mindful Communication Model™, Consciousness, Communication, Community, is an innovative, research-based model that changes the professional development playing field. At AMC we're normalizing consciousness in professional society and encouraging mindfulness so that we can implement effective communication practices that foster longevity in business communities over time.
To all the students and parents starting a new school year, have a happy and healthy back to school season.
Mindfully Speaking,
Founder, Anna Michele Communications